Until this year....
This year I have experienced an emotional rollercoaster when it came to my sons. One leaving home and entering the military. One waiting to join our family from Ethiopia. God has been so evident in what I often term "His sweetness" and I've seen it evidenced through His timing. You see, as Andrew was leaving for the USAF, we had immense sadness as we said our "goodbyes" to him and watched him leave from the recruiter's office.
Just 8 weeks later, we got to go watch Andrew graduate down in Texas in the midst of our waiting to go to Ethiopia.
Joy!
Then, another goodbye, as the weekend just flew by and we had to leave him again.
Sadness.
Just two weeks later, we were on a plane to meet Levi for the first time!
Joy!
Then after spending five days with our precious little boy, we had to leave him. An orphaned child. Left. Again. I cannot describe the depth of my broken heart at that time. I hadn't allowed myself to "go there" and I'm glad. It was crushing.
We were told it would only be 4-6 weeks until we would be submitted for embassy and encouraged that this wait wouldn't be so long.
Joy!
The day came that we thought we would be submitted for embassy, only to find that we weren't. Sadness again.
The next day, Andrew comes home for Christmas.
Joy!
See what I mean?
Our joy was returned through every sadness. While one son could never take the place of the other, we could recover with hope each time. God never let us stay discouraged very long. He became a Father we could trust. He gave us recovery from our emotions and taught us about the depth of His love and the perfection of His timing. Don't get me wrong. I'm so glad we are allowed to have emotions! It's okay to experience sadness in sad times. We aren't cold stone creatures. We're emotional beings. It has been through the depth of my emotions for my earthly sons in this season, that I have seen God's love for me. So. Much. Greater. He willingly sacrificed His Son. For me. Even though it broke His heart. How much greater is His love than mine? It's the core of everything. It's the gospel.
Despite everything about us-the good, the bad, and the ugly-we could do nothing to save ourselves. Nothing. Anything "good" in us, really isn't. The bad is worse than we imagine or pretend. Man without hope because of a fallen world. God's plan for man was good and perfect, and immediately we decided we had a better way. And we blew it. From the very beginning.
But God had another plan. I've been waffling on the terminology of this. Is this God's Plan B or is it still A? I mean if God knows all and created time (which is so much greater than what's on our watches and clocks), didn't He know we would screw up? Didn't He see Jesus would be needed from the beginning? Was this plan for redeeming man on His Kingdom calendar? Wasn't He thinking of me before I was born and knew all about me? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
I don't know how to combine all of these truths, but I know they are all true. This makes me so thankful that I don't understand all the ways of God. I mean, think about it people. If Beth McKenzie's brain could explain the God of the Universe, it would be a sad, sad world indeed. (And just so you don't get too prideful, yours would be, too! Ha!) Anyway, God planned Jesus to "buy us back." He is our Redeemer. We were orphans the moment we were born. Even if we were born to good parents, we were orphans because of sin. Nobody had to teach us to sin. It was our natural state. God knew we would need redemption, and He sent Jesus.
"The Word became flesh and took up residence among us. We observed His glory, the glory as the One and Only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. "
The Word- Jesus- became flesh. Like you and me. Just like we started. In the womb. Then, was born, just like you and me- as a baby. Grew up and lived as a child, teenager, and man. Faced every temptation and trial you and I have ever faced. Every single one. Yet was sinless....and rejected. By many. At some point, every one of His followers from Moses to the disciples...to you and me. (And by the way, He knew about you and me BEFORE He came....and He came anyway.) The Word left heaven to become flesh, people! Do you get that?! It's the most absurd thing we could ever imagine. It doesn't make sense. Why did He do this? Why not just let the earth spin off its axis? Why not annihilate all of us? I mean we deserved it. Why not say, "I'm not doing this-- for THEM!"?
But His plan involved something else. Because He's a Redeemer. Because His love is so loyal and deep. Because His love is unlike any other. He sent Jesus to buy us back so that we could know Him as Father.
"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. " Isa. 9:6
Everlasting Father. We are no longer orphans. We have an everlasting Father! Whether it was Plan A or B, who cares? It was in His plan. We are part of it! Even if we screwed it all up, He had a plan for recovery. It wasn't a second thought as if God was saying, "Oh, I missed that one!" His love covered it from the beginning. His love continues to cover....actually overwhelm us.
The truth of the matter in this adoption journey is that there's absolutely nothing special about us. We did not begin this journey without a clear leading from our Father. We did not do this to try to get closer to God, to win His love, the approval of others, receive a pat on the back, or to do "good works." Gag me with a spoon. We did it because God has shown us Himself as our Eternal Father. He became not just the God we learned about in Sunday School, but He jumped from the flannel graph and stepped into our lives in a very real way. HE burned in our hearts the desire and then the calling to adopt. He has shown Himself to us in every detail, not just in providing, but so much more than that. He has drawn us closer to His heart and shown us what it means to trust in One Who is completely faithful, to experience a love that is deeper than what we have to offer, and a power that is beyond our capability. We have never felt more certain that we are doing what we were created to do than right now, because it is HE Who is doing it. He even went as specific as pointing us to the child in the exact place He had chosen. Please get this. We are not rescuing a child. GOD is the Rescuer. GOD is the Father to the Fatherless. GOD is the only Redeemer here. Yet, He continues to use people-weak, sinful, completely insufficient people like us-to be vessels of what He has given to us. His love. Redemption. THAT is the gospel. HIM!
He desires this for you, too. Maybe your call is not towards physically adopting a child, but if you know Jesus as Your Redeemer, you, too have the calling to show the Eternal Father to the fatherless-those without hope. If you would have asked us even a year and a half ago if we would be where we are today, we would have laughed. I can't help but chuckle when I think back to the excuse "we're too old" that we tried to give for awhile, and think of Sarah and Abraham. She laughed too. By the way, our son's Ethiopian name is Yishak. Coinkidink? I think not.
God redeemed our way of thinking and continues to show us the depth of His redemption. This year, I am so in awe and grateful for the Word made flesh Who became our Redeemer and Everlasting Father.
Merry Christmas!
"You, O Lord, are [still] our Father, our Redeemer from everlasting is Your name." Isa. 63:16 (AMP)
