Everlasting Father

Redemption. It's one of those churchy words. Probably one I've heard all my life growing up in church. I wouldn't say it's been part of my everyday vocabulary, but it's a word I thought I understood.

Until this year....

This year I have experienced an emotional rollercoaster when it came to my sons. One leaving home and entering the military. One waiting to join our family from Ethiopia. God has been so evident in what I often term "His sweetness" and I've seen it evidenced through His timing. You see, as Andrew was leaving for the USAF, we had immense sadness as we said our "goodbyes" to him and watched him leave from the recruiter's office.
Just 8 weeks later, we got to go watch Andrew graduate down in Texas in the midst of our waiting to go to Ethiopia.
Joy!
Then, another goodbye, as the weekend just flew by and we had to leave him again.
Sadness.
Just two weeks later, we were on a plane to meet Levi for the first time!
Joy!
Then after spending five days with our precious little boy, we had to leave him. An orphaned child. Left. Again. I cannot describe the depth of my broken heart at that time. I hadn't allowed myself to "go there" and I'm glad. It was crushing.
We were told it would only be 4-6 weeks until we would be submitted for embassy and encouraged that this wait wouldn't be so long.
Joy!
The day came that we thought we would be submitted for embassy, only to find that we weren't. Sadness again.
The next day, Andrew comes home for Christmas.
Joy!
See what I mean?

Our joy was returned through every sadness. While one son could never take the place of the other, we could recover with hope each time. God never let us stay discouraged very long. He became a Father we could trust. He gave us recovery from our emotions and taught us about the depth of His love and the perfection of His timing. Don't get me wrong. I'm so glad we are allowed to have emotions! It's okay to experience sadness in sad times. We aren't cold stone creatures. We're emotional beings. It has been through the depth of my emotions for my earthly sons in this season, that I have seen God's love for me. So. Much. Greater. He willingly sacrificed His Son. For me. Even though it broke His heart. How much greater is His love than mine? It's the core of everything. It's the gospel.

Despite everything about us-the good, the bad, and the ugly-we could do nothing to save ourselves. Nothing. Anything "good" in us, really isn't. The bad is worse than we imagine or pretend. Man without hope because of a fallen world. God's plan for man was good and perfect, and immediately we decided we had a better way. And we blew it. From the very beginning.
But God had another plan. I've been waffling on the terminology of this. Is this God's Plan B or is it still A? I mean if God knows all and created time (which is so much greater than what's on our watches and clocks), didn't He know we would screw up? Didn't He see Jesus would be needed from the beginning? Was this plan for redeeming man on His Kingdom calendar? Wasn't He thinking of me before I was born and knew all about me? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

I don't know how to combine all of these truths, but I know they are all true. This makes me so thankful that I don't understand all the ways of God. I mean, think about it people. If Beth McKenzie's brain could explain the God of the Universe, it would be a sad, sad world indeed. (And just so you don't get too prideful, yours would be, too! Ha!) Anyway, God planned Jesus to "buy us back." He is our Redeemer. We were orphans the moment we were born. Even if we were born to good parents, we were orphans because of sin. Nobody had to teach us to sin. It was our natural state. God knew we would need redemption, and He sent Jesus.

"The Word became flesh and took up residence among us. We observed His glory, the glory as the One and Only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. "

The Word- Jesus- became flesh. Like you and me. Just like we started. In the womb. Then, was born, just like you and me- as a baby. Grew up and lived as a child, teenager, and man. Faced every temptation and trial you and I have ever faced. Every single one. Yet was sinless....and rejected. By many. At some point, every one of His followers from Moses to the disciples...to you and me. (And by the way, He knew about you and me BEFORE He came....and He came anyway.) The Word left heaven to become flesh, people! Do you get that?! It's the most absurd thing we could ever imagine. It doesn't make sense. Why did He do this? Why not just let the earth spin off its axis? Why not annihilate all of us? I mean we deserved it. Why not say, "I'm not doing this-- for THEM!"?

But His plan involved something else. Because He's a Redeemer. Because His love is so loyal and deep. Because His love is unlike any other. He sent Jesus to buy us back so that we could know Him as Father.
"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. " Isa. 9:6

Everlasting Father. We are no longer orphans. We have an everlasting Father! Whether it was Plan A or B, who cares? It was in His plan. We are part of it! Even if we screwed it all up, He had a plan for recovery. It wasn't a second thought as if God was saying, "Oh, I missed that one!" His love covered it from the beginning. His love continues to cover....actually overwhelm us.

The truth of the matter in this adoption journey is that there's absolutely nothing special about us. We did not begin this journey without a clear leading from our Father. We did not do this to try to get closer to God, to win His love, the approval of others, receive a pat on the back, or to do "good works." Gag me with a spoon. We did it because God has shown us Himself as our Eternal Father. He became not just the God we learned about in Sunday School, but He jumped from the flannel graph and stepped into our lives in a very real way. HE burned in our hearts the desire and then the calling to adopt. He has shown Himself to us in every detail, not just in providing, but so much more than that. He has drawn us closer to His heart and shown us what it means to trust in One Who is completely faithful, to experience a love that is deeper than what we have to offer, and a power that is beyond our capability. We have never felt more certain that we are doing what we were created to do than right now, because it is HE Who is doing it. He even went as specific as pointing us to the child in the exact place He had chosen. Please get this. We are not rescuing a child. GOD is the Rescuer. GOD is the Father to the Fatherless. GOD is the only Redeemer here. Yet, He continues to use people-weak, sinful, completely insufficient people like us-to be vessels of what He has given to us. His love. Redemption. THAT is the gospel. HIM!

He desires this for you, too. Maybe your call is not towards physically adopting a child, but if you know Jesus as Your Redeemer, you, too have the calling to show the Eternal Father to the fatherless-those without hope. If you would have asked us even a year and a half ago if we would be where we are today, we would have laughed. I can't help but chuckle when I think back to the excuse "we're too old" that we tried to give for awhile, and think of Sarah and Abraham. She laughed too. By the way, our son's Ethiopian name is Yishak. Coinkidink? I think not.

God redeemed our way of thinking and continues to show us the depth of His redemption. This year, I am so in awe and grateful for the Word made flesh Who became our Redeemer and Everlasting Father.

Merry Christmas!

"You, O Lord, are [still] our Father, our Redeemer from everlasting is Your name." Isa. 63:16 (AMP)

Journey to Levi

Journey to Levi

Thanksgiving

It takes on a whole new meaning this year for me. As we spent 5 days in Addis Ababa, the capital city of Ethiopia, meeting our son, experiencing just a little bit of his culture, and then leaving to experience several "rearrangements" to our flight schedule, I've had plenty of time to reflect on this. I keep thinking once I can gather my thoughts to the point that they make sense, I will write about it. Three days later, nothing still makes sense, and I still can't put it all down in a way that I think will fit into a nice neat package. Then, I realized it's not supposed to. It's raw, and it's supposed to be heard that way. I pray that in the midst of this chaos in my mind that God might translate it to my fingers and to your mind, and maybe , just MAYBE you can get catch a glimpse of our time in Addis.

Each day we went out into the city, I kept thinking we will get to a part that looks somewhat newer, more modern, ....surely? This is the capital city of a country, right? There should be some bigger shops, modern facilities, clean drinking water in SOMEone's faucets? That never came. The drives in between our stops kept my gaze fixed on the window of our van. Hundreds of people all over the city. Sleeping. Laying. Sitting. Crippled. Poor. Desperate. Mothers and children begging, some even coming right up to our van. Men walking up to the van and reaching in to try to sell us SOMEthing. As we got out to look at a few shops on the street, children gathered round pulling on my shirt. I would look at their precious faces as they put their fingers to their mouth. No translation was necessary. They were hungry and wanted someone to help them. As soon as I gave them some money, it was as if I had fed a piece of bread to the seagulls here on the eastern shore of Virginia. Except these weren't seagulls. These were people. Humanity. In flocks. And they were starving. The sheer presence of that many people flocked around me brought tears. I can't feed all of them. There's so many! Our guides encouraged us to just go. My heart kept screaming the opposite, but I didn't know what the solution was, other than to give what I had and pray for each one. We saw many crippled people living in the streets, making their way around the dirty, busy streets "walking" on hands, knees, and feet that were deformed to the point I didn't see how in the world it was possible. But it was their lifeline, and so they did it. When your sheer life depends on getting out for a bite to eat or some water, you will do what it takes. I've never had to do that.

Our Levi had been placed in a "transitional home" after we accepted his referral back in the summer. This meant he was removed from the orphanage, and placed in a home with other children who had parents waiting through the paperwork/court process. This home is run by our Christian agency with good care and very kind, loving nannies. Compared to an American home, it might not appear to be much, but it is clean, and the children have wonderful care while there. It's still not a home or a family for them though. No parents are present in their lives, and nothing resembles a home that you and I know. I grew to love and appreciate the nannies who nurture, as well as four young men who worked to interact with the children, transported them and us when we went places, and encouraged the children. They became the closest thing to a father that they have begun to know. It warmed my heart every day to see the children run up to them and have these men surround them with hugs and play with them. Levi will stay at this Transitional Home until we return in 4-6 weeks for his embassy appointment and to bring him home for good.

The most devastating experience of my trip came when we visited the orphanage where Levi once lived from the time he was first sent to an orphanage until about a year ago. I was not prepared in any way to walk in there. No one could. The sights, smells, and sounds that were before us were nothing short of sheer culture shock, and I mean shock in the strongest meaning of the word. Children crowded into small rooms. Smells that reeked of raw sewage. I saw where he once slept in a room with several other children, where you had to be careful of not stepping in the holes in the floor. I followed the cries of what I knew were small babies. My breath was literally taken away for a few seconds at what I saw. At least 8 tiny babies, not in cribs. There were no cribs as we know them. They were laying on divided "bedding". One baby on the far end of the room screamed the loudest. I walked over and saw right away why. His diaperless bottom was covered, and I mean covered with large blisters, and he was laying in his own vomit. I started crying. "What do I do, Lord?" If I were in the U.S., I'd pick him up, run away, and call the authorities. There's no one to call here. This IS where he is being tended to? The only other alternative is on the streets where he will surely die. I kept sobbing. How can this happen? What can we do? Then a voice sweetly nudged me. He said, "Love them, Beth. Love them like Jesus. Just love them." So I leaned my hand over onto this precious baby's face and just started stroking his cheek, trying to calm him. Tears rolling down my face. Not having a single thing in mind that I could possibly do to help this one child, better yet a million more out there just like him. But Jesus could. I prayed, I cried, and then I began to repeat the name, "Jesus.......Jesus ......Jesus ....... Jesus ......" I said it aloud over and over. The little guy stopped to just look me directly in the eyes. His body still heaving from having cried so long. So I said it again...." Jesus .....Jesus....Jesus" His eyes were directly on mine, both of us having tears present. I knew the power of the Name of Jesus, but right there that day, I saw the love that it brought. As my eyes locked with this sweet child through our tears, I knew he felt the love of a Father he'd never known, and so did I. It wasn't long that I was able to stand there and stroke his cheek and share with Him my Jesus, but it seemed that God stopped time for just a little bit. Long enough that I could see that yes, the problems here are huge. They are overwhelming and devastating. I don't know the answer, nor even begin to know how to start. But I experienced something miraculous that day. God's love covering the mess of man. God's love covering the orphan. God's love covering my complete inability and abandon. All I knew was His love, and it appeared it was enough grace for the moment.

My heart is tied to this scene, and I've walked back to it often. Of course, I think mostly of the precious encounter of meeting our son, and the wonderful times we had to look into his eyes and know and see and feel God's love all over all three of us. So many continue to ask us why we went to Ethiopia, and I still can't answer that exactly. God burdened our heart for humanity, and that just doesn't include only America. Humanity is His whole creation. He loves all humanity equally. We are burdened for EVERY homeless, sick, orphaned, and lost. This was just the direction He called us to go. He calls each of us to minister in some way to those like this who are hurting, helpless, and fatherless. Whatever direction you are called, just go. Don't ignore. Don't criticize those who don't go or don't go in the direction you go. Just GO. Do what YOU are called to do, or rather let God do what HE wants to do in and through you. You really have nothing to offer in yourself. I can testify that I had absolutely zero resources, financially, personally, or spiritually. It is He Who began that work, and it will be He Who completes it in and through you and me. EVERY fear inside of me (and there have been MANY- flying, claustrophobia, food issues, foreign lands, terrorism, etc.) disappeared because I have seen the love of my God in ways I'd never experienced. I've seen Him speak and I've felt His presence more than just a "good worship service." More than just a nice little devotion packaged together with perfect words. More than just one act of service. He is so much more than just my tiny self focused American idea. So. Much. More.

"Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. " 1 John 4:18

Since returning, I see things with new eyes. Not in judgment, but just conviction on my own life. Why did anything ever bother or worry me before? Anything? I pull into my driveway filled with two cars and a home that has warmth, furniture, television, computers, clothing, and so many luxuries. I grew up with parents who love me and siblings beside me. We were well cared for, and still have each other today. I have a husband who treasures me like Christ loves the church. I have four healthy children; three who know God, and now one who can. I have access to a church where God's Word is taught and preached true. I have had access to the gospel my entire life! I walk to my faucet and get fresh water that won't hurt my stomach when I drink it. I can have as much as I want. I even waste it. I walked into Walmart upon our return to get some groceries, and felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach. I nearly vomited. The insane amount of food in front of me, as well as all things "Black Friday" brought tears to my eyes. I really thought I was just going to lose it. I had to just make my mind get what I needed to get and leave. Dwelling on it plus the lack of sleep and little bit of sickness I was feeling would have had me in a heap on the floor. Please don't misunderstand this. I am not on an anti Walmart soapbox nor do I plan to not do any shopping ever again. It was just the excess in front of me after such a need behind me made me so sad....and then nauseous. I couldn't feed those swarms of children that surrounded me that day, but look at what my country has that could. Look at this excess that gets wasted on things that we don't need. My heart can't get away from this. This journey is now becoming not just a journey towards our son, but a journey for our family with a burning desire God is placing for orphans. Where fear once was in the midst of our travels to Ethiopia, now I cannot wait to get back there. For our son. And for others. We must . I MUST. God has planted a desire that can only be described as a burning passion. Now that our eyes have been opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do.

"Don’t excuse yourself by saying, “Look, we didn’t know.”For God understands all hearts, and he sees you. He who guards your soul knows you knew." Prov. 24:12

There will be no more excuses for me. Nothing matters anymore. I mean think back to the last thing you got upset about. Think back to the last argument. The thing that continues to bug you. The stuff that drives you nuts. The people that irritate you. Seriously? The things that we choose to dwell on, complain about, fuss over......how is that helping us or others? Where's the church in this? Are we caught up in silly petty arguments or rules, or are we uniting as the body so we can be effective? Are we waiting to get it all together because that will never happen? I'm a mess, y'all. In case you don't know it. So are you. Neither one of us cleans up well. We have a forgiving God Who washes well though. There's so many thorns entangling us. Rubbish. Garbage. Ridiculous. Things that don't matter in light of eternity. Things we invest time and energy into that is wasted. It's time to throw that stuff off. What matters is that Jesus saves. He keeps. He sustains. He works. He loves. We are vessels that He wants to do all of this in and through. Oh how our vision becomes clearer once we get this.

“My friends, adoption is redemption. It’s costly, exhausting, expensive, and outrageous. Buying back lives costs so much. When God set out to redeem us, it killed Him.” - Derek Loux, Co- Founder Orphan Justice Center

It's time to die to the things that don't matter, folks, so that we can live for the things that do. You may not be called to adopt, but you are called to help in some way. Lord, in this Thanksgiving season, it doesn't seem "thank you" is enough, so let my life demonstrate gratitude and not just my words. Thank You for giving me this glimpse, and growing this desire, so that You might be glorified in the lives of Your people. It's ALL about YOU, and I want nothing more than to see others drawn to You, because You are their complete Sufficiency. We who have legs are to take hope to those who are crippled. We who have food are to take to those who are hungry. We who have arms are to love on those who are lonely. We who have Jesus are to go shine light to those who are in darkness. Everyone of us has a journey of hope to someone somewhere. Where is God leading you to go? I can promise you we never had enough money, confidence, or ability to do this. We still don't even have enough for our next trip, but we KNOW He will provide. We've seen Him provide every SINGLE thing necessary, and therefore He gets ALL the credit in the end! But you never will be able to taste His faithfulness if you don't give Him a chance to prove it. Will you trust?


"And then I heard the voice of the Master: 'Whom shall I send? Who will go for us?'
I spoke up, 'I'll go. Send me!'" Isa. 6:8

Meeting Levi

We've just returned from our first trip to Ethiopia. I wrote this while there, but didn't have time to get it onto my blog. Here's the story of meeting Levi.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Today was a day I had imagined in my mind for such a long time, but NOTHING could have prepared us for the joy and sweetness that it has been. We were taken to the orphanage around 9:30 Ethiopia time (about 1:30 a.m. back home). Levi was brought out and some some of the other families here with us who are also adopting video taped and took pictures for us. He walked out very shy, but came and gave me a big ole hug. Then hugged Sean, and showed us that he was wearing the shirt we had sent to him in a care package. I would have broken down and bawled, but didn't want to freak him out, so I held it in. I can't explain how it felt to hold him in my arms. Wow! (NOW I'm bawling, but that's okay. He is not allowed to stay with us until we pass court, so he's back in the transitional home.) We brought things with us to interact with him, i.e. soccer ball, marbles, matchbox car set, and coloring book. This boy's got some skills. He could work a soccer ball! We were all impressed. Let me just say, this boy LOVES his daddy! He didn't want to leave Sean's side the whole day. I might have felt left out except that it was just the sweetest thing to watch them together. At one point, Sean went inside to the restroom. After a minute, Levi was playing with me, but he said in his broken English, "Go get daddy?" So, we walked and waited for him to come out of the bathroom. Oh, how I love that it's Sean's turn after the many years I had 3 kiddos outside the bathroom door! :) I have to also say he is his father's child. This boy is competitive and keeps score....even in marbles. He said, "Mommy 1, Daddy 2!" and then grinned his big ole grin. :) I am definitely outnumbered here. I'm still in culture shock and can't begin to write what I've seen. From the minute we left the airport, just within 5 minutes drive to our hotel, I saw nearly every single block FILLED with homeless people and very young prostitutes. Children all over the place at 11pm with very little clothes, fires burning to keep them warm, and begging on every corner. After what I've seen today, that was really just tipping the iceberg. Another story for another time when I can maybe, just maybe, wrap my mind around this reality here. I've never seen anything like it before in my life. It's something I believe will not only change me forever, but transform EVERYthing for our family. Back to some positives....Sean was the pied piper at the orphanage. He's the tall American who played ball with the kids. They had such a blast and so did he. I did some video taping, and they LOVED seeing themselves on video. I can't tell you how their giggles blessed my heart. They are happy, even though from our perspective there's not much to be happy about. Somehow, they are resilient and content. I don't think they realize how poor they are. I don't think we realize how rich we are. I've got a lot more to share, but just wanted to give you the summary of our day. I've just given birth, and like the other 3 times, it's the best feeling in the world.

A Court Date!

Most everyone has heard this already, but I'm trying to keep our blog updated just for a timeline of our adoption this past year. Last Friday morning, we received the call that we have a court date! We will finally get to see our sweet boy's face and hug his neck! We will appear before a judge in Ethiopian courts on November 21st! Sean and I had originally been planning to catch a matinee on Friday, but after getting this news, we couldn't even think about concentrating on a movie. We were giddy with excitement and spent the whole day talking about the reality that our son was going to be in our arms soon! It was also a timely reminder that God is always working on our behalf. We had so wanted an earlier court date just so Levi could get home by Christmas(remember we have to go twice so he will not come home with us after this first visit). At the same time, we had also been concerned that if we did go in October it might coincide with our oldest son's graduation from the USAF, which we didn't want to miss. God reminded us that even if that happened, He knew all the details and was always acting on behalf of His will and our good. We just surrendered that to Him and asked Him for the faith to trust. I have to say I was more than grateful that we get to have these special times with BOTH our sons!

I love how God continuously is teaching us about His timing that occurs because of His love. I couldn't help but think of a people waiting for deliverance, and wondering if the time might ever come for their answered prayer . And then.....

"But when the time arrived that was set by God the Father, God sent his Son, born among us of a woman, born under the conditions of the law so that he might redeem those of us who have been kidnapped by the law. Thus we have been set freeto experience our rightful heritage. You can tell for sure that you are now fully adopted as his own children because God sent the Spirit of his Son into our lives crying out, 'Papa! Father!' Doesn't that privilege of intimate conversation with God make it plain that you are not a slave, but a child? And if you are a child, you're also an heir, with complete access to the inheritance." Gal 4:4-6

The waaaaaaiting is the hardest part

I'm pretty sure Tom Petty wasn't thinking about adoption when he sang those lyrics, but it's been our theme song lately. All our paperwork has arrived in Addis, and now we wait. What are we waiting for? Our first court date to Ethiopia. We are required to make two trips. The first trip will be our court date, and we will spend about 5 days there in Ethiopia. We will get to spend time with our sweet boy during this time period. This is termed the "Meetcha Day." I cannot even begin to imagine what it will be like to see our son for the first time face to face, cheek to cheek, and to hold him in my arms. I get a lump in my throat just thinking about it. Ethiopian courts shut down every year for the "rainy season." Not sure I understand all the details behind that, but.....think congress in December? :/ So, if we get processed BEFORE they shut down, we hope our first court date will be October. Otherwise, it could be later. One thing I have learned through this process. It's perfectly okay to hope for certain things and certain timing, but I have seen God's sweet and sovereign hand so much, that I resolve to trust His timing is so much better than mine. He's not just got our best interest in mind, but Levi's and so many others'....ones we may not even yet know about. We truly want the LORD to be glorified and magnified in this. It is nothing about us, and ALL about HIM! We just want to be obedient through every step. We've already met some amazing friends through this experience. Some who have already gone, and some who are waiting to go and get their children. Each one has brought us encouragement, insight, and help along the way. We don't want to miss any Divine encounters because of our impatience. It's a beautiful thing to trust the One Who created the plan. So, we will wait and pray for our precious son every day that he must wait, too.

The most common word for "wait" used in the Old Testament is "qavah." It means "to bind together, perhaps by twisting strands as in making a rope, to look patiently, to tarry, to hope, to look and expect eagerly." We truly feel that God has woven Levi into our family since the beginning of time. Now we eagerly await his physical joining of the McKenzie family.

"You take it on faith, you take it to the heart. Yeah, the waiting is the hardest part." Tom Petty probably didn't have this type of waiting in mind in this line either, but this is how we deal with our wait. We wait in faith. Our Heavenly Father is not limited by time. His Sovereignty is ruled by His love. We trust Him.

"As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him. For He knows what we are made of, remembering that we are dust. As for man, his days are like grass- he blooms like a flower of the field; when the wind passes over it, it vanishes, and its place is no longer known. But from eternity to eternity the LORD's faithful love is towards those who fear Him and His righteousness towards the grandchildren, of those who keep His covenant, who remember to observe His instructions. The LORD has established His throne in heaven, and His kingdom rules over all." Psalm 103:13-19 (HCSB)

"Wait for the LORD, be courageous and let your heart be strong. Wait for the Lord." Psalm 27:14 (HCSB)

First Care Package

We are mailing out our first care package to Levi today. There are only certain things we are allowed to send right now, but with the information we have received on him, we think these will be a hit! I have to say it was so much FUN to shop in the children's department again. :) Oh, how I would love to deliver these to him myself.




















We found this shirt in A Children's Place and thought it was PERFECT to welcome Levi to America. Happy 4th sweet boy! Can't wait until you get to celebrate being an AMERICAN!











Your family is anxiously awaiting your arrival!

A Face to our Prayers!

Last weekend, a little boy became available on the "Waiting Child List" for our adoption agency. As Sean and I have walked through this process the past six months, God has been so faithful to give us directions in finding the child that He had for us. For example, would it be a boy or girl? What age range? Were we open to any handicap, i.e. cleft palate, club foot, etc.? All of these were things we prayed about and felt God was using those answers to steer us towards our Levi. As this little boy came up last weekend, we immediately saw that he fit every category with the limited information we had on him. We called our worker at the adoption agency and told her we would like to know more about him. We were approved to see his file that evening, and spent hours looking through the information that was available on him. The more we looked, the more we knew we were looking at our son. Knowing we had been praying specifically about this for six months already, God affirmed in our hearts and spirit that this was our answered prayer right away. Our fleece had already been laid out before God, and He placed this sweet child right in our laps! So, today the papers were officially signed. We have accepted the referral. Levi is ours! Oh, he is so precious! We cannot wait to be able to share more details or a picture, but must wait until our first court appearance for that to happen here. To see the face of the one we have prayed so long for, especially after the past six months of this "paperwork pregnancy" has been the sweetest blessing for this mama's and daddy's heart.

"For this child, we have prayed, and the Lord has granted our petition." 1 Samuel 1:27

Dear Beth

Dear Beth,

With the confidence in our all-sufficient Father as provider, I am excited about this new “journey of hope” that we are on to adopt our son – Levi! I want to thank you that during these years, when your heart longed for another child, that you never badgered or coerced me. You have been prayerfully patient, and been a model of a supportive wife. You have truly shown me through these years… the sufficiency of prayer. You have always supported me and my ministry even if we would never adopt. You even honored my misgivings for years… even if my worries were rooted in my own selfishness, as God later revealed to me they were. You have been a rock!

I truly believe that what we are doing by pursuing this means of adding to our family will glorify God and show His love for all peoples… because of this, I have confidence that God is pleased and will honor our efforts!

I believe we enter this with our eyes wide open, because of some of our life experiences. We have been through a lot together, and have come out stronger because of the love and grace of the Lord. He has been merciful to us and will continue to show his mercies as new everyday along this ride that he has us on.

I thank God for you. I am excited to be doing this together. Even at my age I believe that God has given me something else to share with another child, and I know that you will be a great mom again… as you have already been with our other 3 children. Life is very short, whether minutes like Logan, or 44 years like me, 69 years like my dad, or even 90 years like my grandpa. What matters is not living those years for us and our dreams, but that, while we live, we live by faith in future grace and walk according to Christ. Our lives are His… not our own!

With this common goal we will, by God’s grace, hold our son, and lead him to be a follower of the Christ who gave His life for us all at Calvary. May the Lord see this journey of hope through, and bring Levi home and into a deep lasting relationship with us… and Christ. May he be the ebony garland of honor around your neck, and may he one day call you truly blessed!

Thank you for the honor of being your husband, and being on this journey together… I love you!

Sean

His Name Is.....

As our paperwork pregnancy is nearing an end, we've been so encouraged and blessed to encounter some wonderful people through our agency. One of those has been our home study worker, Chuck. He first visited our home last Wednesday, and we met with him again last Friday as parts 2 and 3 of our 4-step Home Study process. He's an older, kind, and godly man with a great amount of wisdom and grace. Very much a "grandfatherly" type. He came into our home and made us feel at ease almost instantly through this uncertain step. We felt as if we were sitting with a dear family member. One of his first questions was, "Does he have a name?" It wasn't a question I considered to be of huge importance, and certainly not one that I imagined would be asked as part of our home study process. He began to share that it was important that if we had a name picked out, that we started calling our son by his name so we could relate to him on a more personal level. After all, he was our son since before the beginning of time. If God is Sovereign and the all-knowing God we believe He is, then long before any of us were created, God ordained him to be our child. "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, and before you were born, I consecrated you..." Jer. 1:5

Sean and I had to each write an autobiography that covered in detail various parts of our lives from birth, and this included the call to adopt, i.e. when did we first know and believe and respond to this calling. For me, it was childhood when I first remember the desire. I recalled seeing and hearing about children without homes, and how heartbroken and burdened it was for me to hear and see, and desire to do SOMEthing about this. God planted this desire long ago in my heart. For Sean, it wasn't until later in adulthood, and it was a process that God was working in his heart at a completely different time than in mine, until it came together at just the right time. Recounting this has encouraged us often through this process that God's timing is so very perfect! Chuck then reminded us that even back in those times in my childhood, God had our son in mind. He was planting that desire to lead me towards him. He was planting the desire in Sean years later....to lead Sean to him. Even moreso, before Sean and I were born, God knew we would adopt this precious boy. God knew the details long before He revealed them to us.

In Ethiopian adoptions, the trend is that many of their Ethiopian names will become their middle name, and they are given an American first name. Therefore, a couple of months ago, Sean and I had begun looking through baby name books as we looked for just the right name. I have to say I never imagined we'd be doing this in our forties. :) The perfect name came to the forefront of our minds at just about the same time. We then decided that would be his name. We just hadn't shared it with everyone. I'm not sure why. Perhaps, the excitement of wanting to reveal it when he came to us. Maybe a fear that this might even cause an attachment and make this process of waiting all the more difficult. We also are open to siblings, so since we weren't sure if we would have one or more, it seemed strange to name one and not the others. It might have even been that our faith was weak in the initial process with the thought that, "What if it doesn't happen?" However, the longer we have walked through this journey, the more stronger and certain we know without a doubt that we have a son awaiting us in Ethiopia. He may have siblings, and he may not, but this we know: he is there awaiting a home here with us.

And he has a name.

David Platt says it well: “Orphans are easier to ignore before you know their names. They are easier to ignore before you see their faces. It is easier to pretend they're not real before you hold them in your arms. But once you do, everything changes.”

Our hearts have been in the process of being changed and shaped in so many ways. I can't even describe the longing of my mama heart for a child that is mine, made known to us. Yet, he is not ignored, but has a name. His name is "Levi." It is Hebrew and means "join or be joined" and refers to "the joining of a person to someone." We eagerly await the day when Levi is joined to our family, affectionately referred to as "Gotcha Day" for adopted families. We don't know if he has siblings or not, but we know he is there. We now pray for him by name, and ask you to do the same, as Levi awaits a home that he doesn't yet know exists. We can hardly wait for the day we will see his sweet face that we can finally put to the name and the calling God has now revealed to us.

Every part of this earthly adoption points us to our heavenly one. The promise of adoption given through salvation, and the fulfillment of it when we leave this earth for a Heavenly Father who has planned and orchestrated in His perfect timing our "Gotcha Day." Our prayer is that Levi not only knows he has an earthly home and family that awaits, but that he will also know he has a heavenly "Abba"...a Daddy, Who has prepared a place for him that is greater than anything he has ever imagined. Only then, will he understand his full rights as an adopted child.

"And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children." Romans 8:23

Ethiopia Update/Prayer Request

Some changes are occurring in Ethiopia that COULD affect the timing of our adoption. We want to inform you of these so you can be praying along with us. The US Department of State posted a notice regarding Ethiopian adoption. The full content of the notice can be found here and speculates possible delays for cases presented to MOWCYA, also known as the Ministry of Women, Children, and Youth Affairs (formerly called MOWA) after March 8^th. The US Department of State hosted a meeting on April 5th regarding Ethiopian adoptions and findings from a joint trip of USCIS & Department of State officials to Ethiopia at the end of January 2011. A hand out from this meeting can be found through the following link: Handout Notes.

In light of this, our adoption agency is hosting a conference call this afternoon for all of us in the process of adopting from Ethiopia to explain more details, answer our questions, and bring assurance to our fears. They are not at this point alarmed that this will remain this way. Often, new leadership comes in with new ideas and the desire to change things to "make a name", but with the opposition that this is encountering, they feel positive that it won't stay long. Since the reports of MOWCYA changes in early March, America World, our adoption agency, has continued to see many families pass court in March and April. The recent staff turnover at MOWCYA has even led to many families successfully passing court at their first scheduled appointment. Additionally, we know the court is committed to continuing to process adoption cases in a timely manner.

It's hard to not be concerned through these changes, but God is sovereign and we trust Him, including His timing. We know our son is kept in God's capable hands. As I've been praying for several friends lately in difficult situations of waiting and trusting, I was reminded of our Big God. There is no need that is ever too big for Him! If it doesn't come as we desire or when we want it, we can trust His gracious hands of love are at work for the benefit of all and the glory of His Name. He holds things in His time for GOOD, not harm. I am convinced that once we get to the other side of this (or any trial), that looking back, whether it's on this side of heaven or the other, we will be able to see and exclaim, "What an AMAZING, PERFECT plan! What an amazing, all knowing, all powerful God!"

"...I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until that day." 2 Timothy 1:12

Paperwork, shmaperwork....

I haven't updated here in awhile, but not because we've been idle. We're in the midst of mountains and months of paperwork! We've been busy getting various documents, birth certificates, marriage certificates, financial papers, physicals, vaccinations, fingerprints, and reading completed. Part of the process includes us having to read two mandatory books relating to adoption, as well as two "other" books of our choosing. Nothing can get done quickly in this phase, but it often becomes a "hurry up and wait" period. In the meantime, we are trying to think and plan some fundraisers to prepare for the expensive costs of the next steps in this tedious process. I was thinking this morning that if I was doing nothing else, this season of waiting would be nearly unbearable. But life is quite busy these days, so it helps to just take one step at a time in the midst of our lives, knowing each piece of paper completed, all the exhausting measures of appointments, and every chapter read in a book only means one step closer to our boy.

Back in February, a dear friend hosted a Pampered Chef fundraising party for our family. We had such a good time, and I was completely blessed by the outpouring of support for us. The party reigned in $1,000 of sales, and 20% of that went towards our adoption fund. Here's some fun pictures of that night...

...

In this waiting period, it's so difficult not to think about what's going through the mind of our son- or children, since we are open to adopting siblings. Do they know there's a family out there waiting and hoping for them? Do they know that a life awaits them that is so drastically different and better than the one they are living now? Do they know there's a God who loves them more than anyone ever has or will ? Do they wonder if their time will ever come? Every time another child leaves, do they lose heart that they are unlovable? Beyond the point where they could be next? Have they lost all hope?

Each one of us who have trusted in Christ have been there. Before being adopted by Him, we, too, had no idea of the hope that awaited us. We didn't realize the life that we could live. We never knew of a life that could be so different and better than the one we were living. We were orphans without a Father. We knew nothing other than the life we lived.

".... remember that at that time you were separate from Christ, excluded from citizenship in Israel and foreigners to the covenants of the promise, without hope and without God in the world." Ephesians 2:12

As I think of this, my heart has such a longing for them to know the same thing that Jesus has told each one of us...." I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." (John 14:18)

Yes, it's hard to wait, but the lessons and glimpses of God's mercy, grace, and love in rescuing me from the orphanage of sin are growing me into a deeper relationship with my Eternal Father into a family where I was chosen and dearly loved. I pray that God places that hope in the heart of our children waiting in Ethiopia, and cannot wait for the fulfillment of His promise to them that they no longer will be enslaved in an orphanage in Ethiopia, but have a home waiting filled with love, and eventually discover the greatest love of all through a relationship with Him.

"So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father." Rom. 8:15

Why Ethiopia?

One of the most common questions we are asked is, "Why Ethiopia?" Some ask out of curiosity, and others out of their own belief that we should tend to "our own" first, meaning we should adopt locally or within the U.S. before considering an international adoption. There's a lot of things I could say, but what it basically boils down to is because God has pointed us there. It's hard to try to explain why God does what He does. He's God! He's wiser than us, and knows what is best for our lives. Therefore, we trust Him. It's why Sean was called to ministry out of the secular business world. It's why we live 10-12 hours away from our families. I mean, there's plenty of churches in Kentucky where we could be serving, but God has called us here on the ESVA (and we are SO happy He has!) :) It's part of His plan, and we've seen HIS plans are always good. When we began seriously considering adoption, we were open to whatever possibilities were around us and investigated ALL of the options. Personally, international adoption is something that God has always laid on MY heart, so I truly felt that was the direction we would be going. It doesn't mean we think it's the way to go for everyone called to adopt by any means. EVERY child, regardless of where they were born or where they now live deserves a family and a home. In God's eyes, there are no favorites-they are ALL precious and the apple of His eye. Our desire was to find the one He's selected for us, knowing He's chosen that since before the foundation of the world! Pretty cool, huh?

When we knew that God was calling us to international adoption, we began to investigate various countries. Through a lot of prayer and research, Ethiopia continually came up before us. I believe it was just God's way of revealing His plan to us. I was completely ignorant about Ethiopia, so I thought it would be helpful to share with you who may not know some general information concerning this country.

1. * Ethiopia is located in East Africa but is landlocked. The country of Eritrea separates it from the Red Sea. It is also bordered by Somalia, Kenya, Sudan and Djibouti.

1. * Ethiopia is about twice the size of Texas and has varying landscape. It includes parts of the Nile River and the Great Rift Valley.
   

1. * Addis Ababa is the capital and is located in the central highlands. The elevation there is approximately 8000 ft. which is the third highest in the world.
   

1. * There are wide ranges in climate due to the varying topography. It ranges from mountainous areas to desert lowlands.

1. * Ethiopia is the only country not colonized as European nations were taking over rule of various countries in Africa. The only exception was for a brief period from 1936 - 1941 when they were occupied by Italy.
   

1. * Ethiopia is a very diverse culture. There are over 80 different ethnic groups. This has resulted in a great variety of languages, food and customs. However, Amharic is the primary language spoken.
   

1. * Ethiopia is a very poor country. Over half the population lives below poverty level.

1. * Ethiopia is an ancient Christian nation with deep rooted Ethiopian-Orthodox customs and practices. Judaic-Christian roots can be found in both Hebrew and Christian scriptures. About half the population is Christian.
   

* Coffee is a very important crop. Ethiopia is often credited for discovering coffee as a drink.

HAVE to plug this here: Don't forget you can support our adoption by ordering coffee at ANY time. For every bag of coffee (or any other item including mugs, shirts, etc.), we receive $5 towards our adoption!

http://www.justlovecoffee.com/mckenzies

The stats that REALLY grabbed our heart however, were these:

* One out of every 20 children born alive die in their first month of life

* One out of ten die before reaching their first birthday

* One out of six die before reaching their fifth birthday

* The median age in Ethiopia is 18

* 1.5 million people in Ethiopia are infected with AIDS

* Per capita, Ethiopia receives less aid than any country in Africa

* Population is nearly 75 million people with close to 6 million orphans. Children are primarily orphaned due to poverty and disease.

There are many obstacles and hurdles to jump in any adoption. None is easy in any way- emotionally, physically, or financially. If left to my own preferences, my comfort zone would have most likely been to stay in the U.S. I hate flying and two trips to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia would most likely not be in my list of "top vacation spots." I couldn't dismiss this longing that I now believe was God's prodding in my heart to step outside that comfort zone. We don't consider ourselves as ones to be honored or praised for this. Only God gets that credit! There is absolutely nothing special about us. We're just simply trusting God with a desire to be obedient as we go get our son and bring hope to a child who might never have a chance to know the Hope that we know.

"So don't be afraid: I'm with you.
I'll round up all your scattered children,
pull them in from east and west.
I'll send orders north and south:
'Send them back.
Return my sons from distant lands,
my daughters from faraway places.
I want them back, every last one who bears my

name, every man, woman, and child
Whom I created for my glory,
yes, personally formed and made each one.'"

Isaiah 43:5-6 (MSG)