Holding Tight

Yes, I'm typing this RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of the U.K. Final Four game against U of L. Crazy! I don't want to forget this though. Levi just reminded me of some things so so sweet and so very important. He's not been feeling well with a bug in his tummy and congestion. He even ran a fever today, while I have also been sick with an earache. After some good meds, he got a little energy this evening and sat in front of the stereo singing along to a Kids Praise CD. This CD has become one of his very favorites. It's an oldie- a lot of the "old songs" that I can remember singing as a little child. Soon, I heard this...

"Love, love, love, love, the gospel in a word is 'love.' Love your neighbor as your brother. Love, love, love."
And he sang it over and over and over...

I'd never paid much attention to those lyrics before, even though I sang that song many times as a child. Because of the repetition of words in the song, it's one of the few he can sing in his sweet broken English. I thought what a simple, sweet, and TRUE statement. The gospel in a word IS love. Period. Love God, love others. Love, Love, Love! I thought of God's sacrificial love so that we could know and then live this truth. We are entering Holy Week, as we prepare to celebrate the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus. All of this was out of LOVE, not duty. He died to show us love and to give us love through an act of love. What a great reminder in the midst of the craziness of life, sicknesses, and March Madness. Sad that we can get so caught up in other things and completely miss this.

Levi sat there for quite a while until he spotted some things on the bookshelf. One of them being an old Bible of mine in a cloth case. He inquired about it, and I told him it was one of Mommy's Bibles. Just saying that stung. One of Mommy's Bibles. Mommy probably has at least four. And some people have none.....

The conversation then went like this:

Levi: "Mommy Bible?"
Me: "Yes, does Levi want it?"
Levi: "Levi? Bible? Dis? (this)
Me: "Yes, you can have it."
Levi: "Levi? Bible? Dis?!" (getting excited)
Me: "Yes, Levi Bible."
Levi (BIG SMILE): "Ohhhh...tank you Mommy! Tank you!"
And he gave me a huge hug.

Levi took the Bible held it against his chest. Then, walked down the hall to take his newest treasure to his bedroom.

Lord, thank You for how You continually teach me through the fresh eyes of Levi. Please let him never forget Your love for him and through him and may he always hold tight to Your Word as if it's a newly found treasure. Please do the same for me,too.

Livin', Lovin', and Learnin'

It's such a joy to experience life with fresh lenses through Levi. Most everything he sees and does is new to him. It has brought such an awareness and slice of joy to our hearts. We watch him as he experiences simple things like going to the library


learning to ride a bike


going to the beach


playing at the park


or riding in a race car grocery cart


You would have thought he was at the fair! He made all the car sounds (brakes, horns, and rumbles) throughout the ENTIRE TIME I was in the store. I'm pretty sure they were ready for us to go, especially as we raced through the parking lot afterwards. I haven't giggled like that in a long time though. Just watching the joy and thrill on his face was so fun!

Sometimes, God asks us to see things with new lenses-His eyes. They give us perspective, which changes everything. When we know we are loved, treasured, and secure in Christ, we experience a freedom that brings the ability to trust Him and trust all the details of our lives in His care. This enables us to live life. To endure. To persevere. To even enjoy, maybe as never before. Levi has been given a new life, but so have we. God teaches us so much through this little boy. As we continue to learn more about our son, we continue to see deeper into the heart of God and His incredible love for us, His children. This road is exhausting lately, but I'm thankful for the ability to "stop and smell the roses" or rather as the Message puts it in Psalm 46:10, "Step out of the traffic and take a long loving look at our High God...above everything." God's Word always shines light for us and brings clarity where life is cloudy. It's these sweet moments on pause that God keeps giving us where we truly see through His eyes the simple joys of life in the midst of chaos. We also see His incredible love given us to receive and to share. He has so much that is bright and beautiful right in front of our eyes if we would only take on His eyes and most of all, remember His heart. Oh, that we would all join Levi in the dance of life!



"We pray that you'll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul—not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that He has for us. " Colossians 1:11-12

Forever

I constantly am amazed that Levi is here...finally here forever. As hard as it is for me to believe it, it is even more difficult for him to comprehend it. We aren't just another family, another orphanage or transitional home. This is his forever family. He's not grasped that yet, but this will take time.

Last Sunday morning was our first "BIG" battle with Levi. After spending 24 hrs with us, I'm guessing he was feeling doubts about so much. Being in a new home, new culture, new language, and rules he never had all gave him an excuse for a meltdown, and meltdown he had. Everyone else had gone to church, so he and I just went outside to take a little walk and get some fresh air. This boy wakes up wanting to go outside from the second he opens his eyes. He misses friends and the life he knew where everyday was beautiful, sunny, and a place he could go play nonstop. So, as we ventured on this short walk, we talked about flowers, trees, skies, birds, and especially cars, and looking both ways. He was doing really well stopping to look before we crossed the road. We walked down to the bridge that overlooks the water, and like any boy, he wanted to spit over the bridge. Boys are boys in any culture! :) As we walked back, he picked up a stick. I told him he could hold the stick. He pretended like he was going to throw it, and I told him gently, "No you can hold the stick. We don't throw it. " He pretended a few more times and I gently reminded him each time that we sticks are for holding, not throwing. We were just about home and a car drove by. As soon as the car came to where we were, that stick went flying. I didn't overreact, and thankfully the driver of the car was totally unaware. But Levi knew he wasn't supposed to do this, and he did it anyway. There had to be a consequence. I leaned down and told him we would have to go inside now. He said, "No"!" I held his hand to which he jerked it away. I cuddled him in my arms, and then the shoulder shrugging began.

In Levi's culture there are many gestures that communicate words. This is similar to us nodding our head for a "yes". In Ethiopia, they raise their eyebrows. So if you are ever talking to him and his eyebrows are going up and down, that means "Yes"...don't ask a thousand times like I did before I realized he was answering me and getting frustrated that I was asking him something to death. Another gesture is the shrugging of the shoulders. It means, "No, absolutely no, I don't like this, you can't make me...heck no!"

Well, by this time, the shoulders were shrugging almost to the point it looked like he was having convulsions. I literally had to pick him up, constantly telling him in his language that I loved him forever, and bring him inside. Once inside, I sat him down in a chair, all the while he was screaming and kicking me-shoulders just going up and down like crazy. I kept telling him, "Mommy loves you forever." He only kept shrugging and crying. He sat in the chair for a "time in" as I told him over and over that I loved him. Forever. I didn't want him to hurt himself or someone else by throwing sticks, but I love him so much. More shoulder shrugs. He wanted to get up and go to his room, so I let him. He sat quietly in there for a few minutes. I sat on the couch crying, just wishing I could somehow be able to let him know how MUCH he is loved and how he doesn't need to fear, but I couldn't. I didn't have the ability to speak to him all I wanted him to hear. So I prayed. I knew the Lord could be everything Levi needed. He'd been there before me, and He was with us now. I cannot tell you the peace that I felt as I poured out to the Lord for Levi and for myself. When I went to check on Levi again in about 15 minutes, his entire countenance had changed, too. Even to the point he would hug me. God was faithful to him. Again. Once again, God's phone number rang loud and clear. JER333

"Call to Me and I will answer you and show you great and unsearchable things that you do not know." Jer. 33:3

I was also reminded of the difficult journey of adopting an older child who has suffered more than you and I could ever imagine. This journey is still God's. He is leading. He equips us. He gives us everything we need. He proves Himself over and over throughout this, the same way with the other three children we have and continue to parent. What a comfort that it isn't up to us! Levi's story will be one of beauty for ashes, and that is promised. However, I'm comforted to see just a little bit of the beauty in the midst of the fire we are in right now. Only God could do such a thing. What a blessing that we get to be a part of what He is doing and learn right alongside with Levi that God's presence is real and His promises are for us--forever.

All In a Week

The day had finally come for Levi to get on that "aeroplane" and go "whoosh, whoosh" as he kept telling us. We had a long, but uneventful flight home. He slept for about 5 hrs. Not much. He enjoyed pushing all the buttons on the airplane to watch movies or play music. One time, I looked over and he was going to town dancing his little hiney off, and so I leaned in to see what he was listening to....
Black Eyed Peas. Uh......okay. Let's find Disney again! :) 
We arrived in Washington, D.C. at Dulles airport. After going through customs, our sweet little Irish Ethiopian boy was officially a U.S. citizen. Yay, God!!

 

 Finally, we arrived in Norfolk after nearly 24 hrs of flight/delays. There's just something about adrenaline rush that keeps you going though. Levi had still to meet his sisters! We had several friends waiting with them, as well as Sean's parents. It was a sweet, sweet reunion with LOTS of tears of joy. 

 Even though Levi is home, our journey is really just beginning now. This is where the rubber meets the road and life begins. Real life. Hard life. The good, the bad, and the ugly. There will be so many challenges before us. We're already seeing glimpses of this, and it is so easy to feel overwhelmed. Therefore, I want to be sure to document the GOOD things, too, and celebrate those. I need these so that when the hard days come, I am reminded.

So, here goes some "Yay, God!" moments since we took custody of Levi last Monday.

In just one week.....

Levi now is using a trash can. It took several days, but now he instantly takes his trash to the can. It just was something he was never taught. It's normal to toss your trash wherever it lands, which is why Addis is such a dirty city.

He is now using toilet paper and wiping well. Yeah, that's a praise. Toilet paper is not something he was accustomed to. Hard to believe, but paper products just are not common in Ethiopia. They're not considered "necessities: and are expensive. So, we spent the first few days wiping noses and butts all over again. God gets a BIG "Woop! Woop!" for this one.

Levi goes right to sleep when we lay him down. We set up a ritual from the first night we had him. Sit on bed with small light/lamp on. He is petrified of the dark, so we've decided for now, he gets to sleep with a lamp on. Security is huge for him. We read a book, pray together, lay him down with hugs and kisses and walk away. He stays in bed and goes to sleep within minutes. Last night our first night home, he was gone in literally 60 seconds! He doesn't get out of his bed at all unless he has to go to the bathroom, and this morning, I found him playing with a book in his bed. Praises go a long way, so I praised him for obeying and staying in bed. That big smile melts my heart. What a start to my day!

English. His English grows by the hour! It is already amazing how he is beginning to form sentences. We've noticed a difference in the past 12 hrs. since coming to America. He is no longer surrounded by Amharic, so he has no choice but to learn and speak English. We've heard him go from just a few words to some sentences now.

He is a great eater. He's not too picky at all, and he likes healthy foods. This morning, for his first breakfast at home, he had eggs, bacon, biscuits, a granola bar, and some juice. Ate every bit! He loves all kinds of fresh fruits.

He had a horrible cough and congestion when we got him. He's been on antibiotics on and off the past 3 months. Since being with us almost one week, that has just about cleared up with Mucinex, pushing fluids, and cleaning out his nose. I have never seen so much snot. Whoa.

He loves ritual/routine. Once he is taught, he wants to do it that way, so things like showering, brushing his teeth, getting on pjs, getting dressed, etc., he is so good to do.

We've learned that when he sings in Amharic, he's comforting himself. It helps us to know what he's feeling without him being able to verbalize it. I love seeing how music does for him often when it does for us. Comfort, encourage, bring joy..... it's cool for me to share this love of music with my boy.

He adores his siblings, and they adore him. I'm thankful that he has taken to all of us well, but we are just pouring the cement here. Realistically, life will not be rosy, so don't think this is our "happily ever after." We need your prayers more now than ever. Please! Everything before now is just the prologue. We are just now reading "Once Upon a Time" and turning the page. Our real journey begins now. I'm so grateful that God goes before us to lead, and behind us to cover all our messes. There will be plenty.

"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. " Phil 1:6

Last Day in Ethiopia

Thursday March 15, 2012

This morning we went to Mt Entoto, which is the highest point in Addis. The altitude is around 12,000 feet. All I know is we were pretty high up, and it gave me a horrible headache. What blew me away the most was the sight of women carrying huge bundles of wood up and down this incredibly huge mountain. I wanted to cry for them. This was their "norm." The way they made a living. The only way they could eat and feed their families. Our driver told us they would walk up the mountain in the mornings and come down with the wood by early afternoon. Sometimes, they would make two trips. I see why Ethiopian women don't live long. You add this hard labor to sickness, poverty, and disease..... It just was almost more than I could take in. :(  While we were at the top of the mountain, we took a tour of the original palace of one of the greatest kings of Ethiopia. The views were amazing. We had hoped to also get outside the city to see some wildlife, but by the time we were done and stopped for lunch, Levi was just really needing a nap. (So were mommy and daddy!)

Today was our first official tough day. Levi has decided that he doesn't really like that he has discipline and protection in his life right now. I can't imagine how overwhelming it must be to go from a "free for all" and "fight for yourself" lifestyle to a normal, somewhat structured life with parents. It felt like we were saying, "No!" all day long, and I couldn't think of a "yes" every single time to replace it with. Here's an example of our afternoon.....

“Don’t hang your head and neck out the window when we are driving. It’s not safe.”

“ Don’t put as many bites as will fit into your mouth whenever we eat. Slow down.”

“ No, we don’t spit “loogies” in places like the Sheraton fountain or at the dinner table.” Ugh.

“Don’t run away from us when we go out. Stay close to Mommy and Daddy. We don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Don’t run into the road.” (He truly doesn’t understand danger.)

“We don’t throw trash down everywhere. We use a trash can.”

“Don’t hang over the balcony."

"Don't put food in your pockets.”

Bless his heart. It is so hard. We’re trying to give him freedoms. We go down the street to play soccer in the big yard of our sister guest house. He can run and play wherever he wants to. He gets to order his food when we go out. He picks his clothes out himself. Today, he was quite cranky towards us though, and preferred our driver who is a sweetheart of a man. He’s a grandfather and just oohs and aahs over Levi. He also speaks Amharic to Levi, which Levi obviously prefers. It’s Levi’s safe place, and understandably so. 

Today, we stopped back at the Sheraton to treat our driver to lunch, and I have to say, it’s just a comfort spot for me. It was so nice to have American food-something that looked and smelled familiar. As much as I love trying new foods and enjoy lots of ethnic foods, I just do not like Ethiopian food. At all. I don’t like the smell of the spices or the texture of injera. It actually gags me. Therefore, I have lived on so many carbs from noodles, granola bars, potatoes, and fruit this week, I feel like I could explode. Having something familiar was my comfort after the past week. I get just a teeny tiny glimpse of what Levi is feeling. Isn’t it just nicer to go with what is familiar or what feels good, even if it’s not good for you? Am I the only one who feels this way? How many times have we given up something, only to go right back to it, whether it’s a bad habit, addiction, fattening foods, dangerous relationship, etc? Each time we go back to familiar or where we feel secure out of habit vs what is best-what is GOD’S best. We forget that God is always looking out for our best interest and we can trust Him so much more than ourselves. He’s not setting boundaries or limits to keep us from good or fun, but to protect us from harm and show us Himself in fresh ways. He wants us to seek Him rather than ourselves. He loves us so much.

Levi has a long way to go. So do I. Despite what we see and know as Levi’s good in leaving this lifestyle he’s known, it’s still comfort to him. He would prefer all he has ever known rather than having to change it all, or have it changed for him. All his bad habits are all he knows. They are survival and protection as he knows it. What he doesn’t yet know is they are false securities. Lies. The things he has put into place to keep himself safe won’t work. He is going to have to let go of this and this independence he has built and learn to trust. This reminds me of him swimming for the first time, and Sean teaching him to float. It was a great trust lesson for Levi to trust that His father is holding him up, and will never let him go-even moreso, his Heavenly Father. Levi will have to learn what is true despite what he has experienced in his short little life and despite what feels right to him. He will learn that following his heart leads to destruction, but listening to the voice of God and trusting Him leads to joy, security, and safety. He’s been a survivalist and these behavior traits aren’t indicative of his character. It’s just a habit he learned in order to cope with where he was. Bad habits though. I’m seeing myself in a lot of Levi already. It’s obedience into a new place- a more spacious place of freedom. I think he’s gonna fit in perfectly here with the McKenzie family as we all learn together what it means to let go of the old and trust God with our new life.

Wednesday in Ethiopia

Wed. March 14, 2012

This morning, we went out to the dump in Korah to visit with a group of widows through Mission Ethiopia. God continues to draw us to this area, so when asked if we were interested in going back out there this morning to see what the Lord was doing through the ministry of the guest home where we are staying, we jumped on it. We also want to instill in Levi a desire to help others. He will now get to be on the other end of how his life used to be, so our prayer is that he does remember, always love his people, and has a heart for them like we do. There is SO much to learn from them. We can already see so much compassion in this sweet boy. The widows we visited lived in Korah come and make necklaces to sell in order to make a living. We were invited to sit down with them as they showed us how to take a single strip of paper, roll it, and turn it into a bead. Then they cover the “beads” with varnish, paint them, and string them to make beautiful necklaces. Sean’s hands are so big that they got tickled at the way he was trying to roll this small strip of paper. We’re pretty sure there was quite a bit of gossip goin’ round that table about him. One lady had a Bible on the table. Sean asked if it was Amharic, which it was. He opened it, and said, “Which book is this?” The lady with us said it was Jeremiah. I then asked her if she would read Jeremiah 29:11 to the ladies. I asked her to tell them that it was my favorite verse because it is a promise from God that He has a hope and future for each one of us. She read it to them in Amharic, and we heard many “Ah’s” which is Amharic for “yes.” It was so beautiful to watch their faces as it was being read. I was praying they would know the truths that were spoken. We then got to see the finished products, where we bought some of the necklaces to bring back with us. I am so blessed by the resilience of these women and so many here in Ethiopia. The poverty here cannot even begin to be put into words or pictures. There is desperation like I have never seen in my life. Yet, it is their life and they live it with smiles on their faces. They don’t just survive; they thrive. America has much to learn from them. We complain over the dumbest stuff. 

In the afternoon, we went over to the Sheraton hotel. Talk about a contrast! There’s never been two greater extremes. Starting with the armed guards at the gate, the doorman in top hat greeting us at the front of the hotel, the lobby filled with impeccable marble and décor, beautiful lush green gardens throughout the grounds with flowers we had never seen before, it was quite the display. The pool was surrounded by posh chairs and umbrellas, with a restaurant and bar enclosing them, as people came to your chairs to wait on you. It felt so wrong after coming from Korah. I have to constantly remind myself to sit down and enjoy this, and enjoy, we did. The weather was gorgeous-probably 85 degrees, and the water felt great. Levi had never been swimming in a pool like this. I’m not really sure if he had been swimming at all. This boy had a BLAST, and so did we playing with him and watching him soak in yet another new thing. 

Afterwards, we ran by to pick up our visas which were all ready to go even sooner than the Thursday they told us to pick them up. Another “Yay, God!” So, we have EVERYTHING we need to get back to America with Levi. Once he enters the airport in Washington, D.C. and goes through customs he will be an official citizen of the United States of America. Each morning he wakes up, he holds up his hand for the number of days before he gets to come home to America. It is the sweetest thing.

Last night Sean had to go down the street to the market for a few items, so Levi played soccer with our guard and wore the poor man out. This kid has so much energy…if we could bottle it, I am convinced it would sell more than Red Bull. Afterwards, we came up for our bedtime ritual. He got a little giggly and started saying things like this:

“Levi toot!” (then made the sound with his mouth) Boys really are boys no matter where they are.

Then he said, “Daddy toot!” (he made the sound with his mouth again)“Mommies no toot!”

Sean started laughing and said, “Mommies toot!”
Levi says, “Noooo. Daddies toot, Levi toot, mommies no toot. Right, mommy?”

I said, “That’s right, Levi. Mommies no toot!”

Sean started rolling his eyes and then Levi let out one of his huge giggles that you will soon have the blessing of hearing.

So, there you have it folks. In Levi’s world, mommies don’t toot. I’m just gonna stick with him on that. ;)

By the time we finished a story and prayers, he laid his head on the pillow and was gone in 5 minutes. Sean and I both still go in and watch him sleep. It’s just like when our newborns were sleeping. There’s just nothing sweeter than to know God has blessed us with more children and look at them in awe of Him. We thank Him constantly. We can’t wait for Levi to meet his sisters soon. (Andrew had to leave before we could get back.) He is already YELLING out their names all the time. They are going to love him so much!

Learning about Levi

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Learning about Levi

These are some of the things we are learning about Levi Yishak.

He loves airplanes. We are right in the path of the airport and he is constantly running out on our veranda yelling “Aeroplane, daddy!” He wants Sean to come see …EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.

If it has Spiderman on it, he’s a fan. He has Spiderman underwear, pjs, toothbrush…the works! He never drops his Spiderman backpack. He loves it so much that he already has it packed for the airport and takes it everywhere we go..down to breakfast, on a walk, in the car, whatever. He also found a pen and wrote his name on it. On the outside. Yes, we’re dealing with a child who’s had to fight for everything all the time, and even still, nothing belonged to him. Note to selves: keep all pens out of reach for awhile until we can communicate well enough. Ah, it’s a process.

Despite the above, he’s SO generous. He is constantly giving us stuff. Playing cards, coloring pages, cars, and even his tissues. He says, “Mommy one, Daddy two, and Levi Yishak three!”

“Shintabet” is our favorite word. It’s Amharic for “go to the bathroom” which he does a lot and with horrible aim. Let’s just say he loves to sing and dance while going shintabet. I feel sorry for our maids.

If there’s music playing, he’s dancing. He’s got the moves! We’ve already recorded him dancing to “Moves Like Jagger” and it’s hysterical. He’s a ham!!

He loves to sing and loves mama to sing with him. LOVE this! He also makes up songs. I couldn’t tell you how many times he has sung, “Mommy, Daddy, Levi” to the tune of something! He sings on key, and has a sweet , sweet voice. My favorite thus far is “Amazing Grace My Chains are Gone” in Amharic. It is precious!

He is incredibly smart. He memorizes things constantly. If we tell him an English word once, he remembers it. So fun to watch him soak up things.

He makes some of the funniest faces ever. He’s quite expressive. Once I am able to upload pictures, you will see just what I mean.

He is always saying, “Ready, sketti, ….GO!” No idea where that came from, but now we say it, too.

He’s competitive. He just blew every kid at the other guest house away in a race. Yessss!

He sleeps and plays hard. Our first night he slept 10 hrs, and once he’s awake he’s full force. There’s no in between stage. We are glad he loves to play soccer 24/7. He’s used to being outside all the time, which is a great thing except he doesn’t understand that he has to wait for us. He could do what he wanted before. He has little fear of anything or anyone…another thing that we will have to teach him.

He eats a LOT. We have noticed some signs of hoarding and binging already. This is common for children in an orphanage where they haven’t had much to eat, and fear that they might not get more. “Tinnish” has been a frequent saying today -“Small bites”- especially after he put five bites in his mouth all at once. We also had our first battle of wills when he asked for cheese and crackers after a very big lunch today. He threw a fit, so he had a “time in” which is like a time out. Putting a child with abandonment issues away from you is working against trust and security which he needs right now, so time in’s are where he has to sit still in front of us or beside one of us. He sat against the wall and pouted with his lip out, and when Sean still wouldn’t give in, he turned around to the wall. After a couple of minutes, he got up and said, “I sorry, Daddy” reached up to hug and kiss him. Sean told him he loved him so much. All was well. If it only would stay this easy, but yeah, that is not realistic.

He loves to march. He is fascinated with police, much like his big brother was as a little boy. It is SO funny to see how alike they are! We brought him some camo shorts (police here wear blue camo), and he couldn’t wait to put them on and march everywhere he went and salute. Another future airman, perhaps?

You will probably notice in our pictures (once we can post them) that Levi’s face is broken out all over with “pimply” looking bumps. He has a skin infection right now, another fun part of being in an orphanage/home with little cleanliness. It is not contagious to be around him. He just cannot share towels or sheets with others until it’s cleared, which could take 6-8 weeks. It doesn’t itch him or bother him at all, and we are thankful for that.

He loves hugs and kisses. He is very affectionate. He also loves babies and small children. Wants to help them and make them laugh. While we were waiting at the Embassy today for our interview, he talked to all the little ones around us, and even tickled several of them. It was sweet.

He’s an encourager. We will be playing with him, whether it’s cars or coloring, or soccer, and he always says, “Good job, Mommy!” or “Good job, Daddy!”

He can’t wait to go home to America. Our first morning, he woke up, went to “shintabet” and walked back in the room and announced, “Four days  America!” and grinned that huge smile. Then, he started doing flips, handstands, and back bends.

We are in for an exciting ride for sure.