Forever

I constantly am amazed that Levi is here...finally here forever. As hard as it is for me to believe it, it is even more difficult for him to comprehend it. We aren't just another family, another orphanage or transitional home. This is his forever family. He's not grasped that yet, but this will take time.

Last Sunday morning was our first "BIG" battle with Levi. After spending 24 hrs with us, I'm guessing he was feeling doubts about so much. Being in a new home, new culture, new language, and rules he never had all gave him an excuse for a meltdown, and meltdown he had. Everyone else had gone to church, so he and I just went outside to take a little walk and get some fresh air. This boy wakes up wanting to go outside from the second he opens his eyes. He misses friends and the life he knew where everyday was beautiful, sunny, and a place he could go play nonstop. So, as we ventured on this short walk, we talked about flowers, trees, skies, birds, and especially cars, and looking both ways. He was doing really well stopping to look before we crossed the road. We walked down to the bridge that overlooks the water, and like any boy, he wanted to spit over the bridge. Boys are boys in any culture! :) As we walked back, he picked up a stick. I told him he could hold the stick. He pretended like he was going to throw it, and I told him gently, "No you can hold the stick. We don't throw it. " He pretended a few more times and I gently reminded him each time that we sticks are for holding, not throwing. We were just about home and a car drove by. As soon as the car came to where we were, that stick went flying. I didn't overreact, and thankfully the driver of the car was totally unaware. But Levi knew he wasn't supposed to do this, and he did it anyway. There had to be a consequence. I leaned down and told him we would have to go inside now. He said, "No"!" I held his hand to which he jerked it away. I cuddled him in my arms, and then the shoulder shrugging began.

In Levi's culture there are many gestures that communicate words. This is similar to us nodding our head for a "yes". In Ethiopia, they raise their eyebrows. So if you are ever talking to him and his eyebrows are going up and down, that means "Yes"...don't ask a thousand times like I did before I realized he was answering me and getting frustrated that I was asking him something to death. Another gesture is the shrugging of the shoulders. It means, "No, absolutely no, I don't like this, you can't make me...heck no!"

Well, by this time, the shoulders were shrugging almost to the point it looked like he was having convulsions. I literally had to pick him up, constantly telling him in his language that I loved him forever, and bring him inside. Once inside, I sat him down in a chair, all the while he was screaming and kicking me-shoulders just going up and down like crazy. I kept telling him, "Mommy loves you forever." He only kept shrugging and crying. He sat in the chair for a "time in" as I told him over and over that I loved him. Forever. I didn't want him to hurt himself or someone else by throwing sticks, but I love him so much. More shoulder shrugs. He wanted to get up and go to his room, so I let him. He sat quietly in there for a few minutes. I sat on the couch crying, just wishing I could somehow be able to let him know how MUCH he is loved and how he doesn't need to fear, but I couldn't. I didn't have the ability to speak to him all I wanted him to hear. So I prayed. I knew the Lord could be everything Levi needed. He'd been there before me, and He was with us now. I cannot tell you the peace that I felt as I poured out to the Lord for Levi and for myself. When I went to check on Levi again in about 15 minutes, his entire countenance had changed, too. Even to the point he would hug me. God was faithful to him. Again. Once again, God's phone number rang loud and clear. JER333

"Call to Me and I will answer you and show you great and unsearchable things that you do not know." Jer. 33:3

I was also reminded of the difficult journey of adopting an older child who has suffered more than you and I could ever imagine. This journey is still God's. He is leading. He equips us. He gives us everything we need. He proves Himself over and over throughout this, the same way with the other three children we have and continue to parent. What a comfort that it isn't up to us! Levi's story will be one of beauty for ashes, and that is promised. However, I'm comforted to see just a little bit of the beauty in the midst of the fire we are in right now. Only God could do such a thing. What a blessing that we get to be a part of what He is doing and learn right alongside with Levi that God's presence is real and His promises are for us--forever.