Daddy and His Girls

When we entered this adoption journey, we discussed thoroughly with our kids the challenges, sacrifices, and time that was going to have to be part of it. Even though they all excitedly were "gung ho" for having a little brother, there's part of your mama heart that always feels they're getting slighted. Cutting back on costs, investing lots of time and energy into paperwork, interviews, and all the emotional ups and downs. Then, traveling twice to Ethiopia without them. These are just a few examples. Everyone is excited about Levi, and rightfully so. No one has complained about feeling left out or shifted, and I'm so proud of them. Still, there's just part of you that wants to be able to give everything equally to your children. So, since Sean and I just had TWO dates last weekend. (One for a rare movie night and another for our church's "Date Night Challenge" on Sat.), we decided a FAMILY night was in store for Valentine's Day.

We picked Baylee up from school a little early, and ventured up to Ocean City. We're getting new brakes put on the van, so we took our 4-door car for the hour drive. This meant no DVD, no separate conversations and music that a van can often allow. (Can you believe the kids do NOT like our 80's music? Sheesh!) No, we were all four forced to....gasp...be together and...communicate! :)
And it was sweet. Listening to our girls chit chat about all that girly stuff. Hearing Sean pipe in, only for them to look at each other and laugh hysterically. Sean even went along when they wanted to put the Taylor Swift CD in and sing at the top of their lungs. I had one of those moments looking in the backseat that I remember having when they were newborns, toddlers, preschoolers, and young school age kids heading to a soccer game. Yes, I've become one of THOSE moms. The ones that look at you young chicks with those obnoxious words, "Enjoy them while they're young cause the time goes so fast!" Oh, sure I had days I wished away just like everyone does. I'm not talking about the fakeness of saying I enjoy every single instance of mommyhood like sleepless nights, puking kids, failed potty training, or disobedient kids. I'm talking about stopping in the moment and savoring the time....the season. Some days deserve being forgotten....and sometimes for this mom, forgiven. I sure messed up a TON. Thank God our kids don't remember every single day. Yes, Lord!

But now...right now... I was sitting next to my sweetheart of 25 yrs and looking back at my daughters who were coming of age....young women at 14 and just 2 weeks shy of 18. Adulthood, people! I can hardly stand it. I look back and they are singing these lyrics...

You're in the car on the way to the movies And you're mortified your mom's dropping you off At 14, there's just so much you can't do And you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots But don't make her drop you off around the block Remember that she's getting older, too And don't lose the way that you dance around In your PJs getting ready for school Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up Just stay this little Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up It could stay this simple

And just for a few minutes, I took it all in. This was one of THOSE moments. I soaked it up. Seeing two teenage sisters laughing and singing. Their daddy, who is their only valentine at this point in their lives, driving them out for a special dinner with his girls. Always showing them how they deserve to be treated by a man....by how he treats them AND their mama.

We arrived at the restaurant. Their pick was Applebee's. As we waited for our meal, Sean presented the girls with cards just from him. He wrote special things in there for each one. (Mama got them chocolate. Words of affirmation AND chocolate. Yeah, I think we make a great team!) It was so sweet to see them reading the love note from their daddy.


Later we hit the very vacant boardwalk of Ocean City for a few pics.



Then it was time to head home ( after a Starbucks run, of course.) It was a quiet ride this time. We were all a little tired. But I couldn't help but think of how completely blessed I am to be mama to these girls. I thought of how blessed Levi is to have these two as his big sisters. They are something special all right. Levi, you will learn more about girls than you probably would ever want to. They are emotional, giggly, funny, and smell "girly" for just a few things. You will also learn how to treat them and love them as Christ loved the church because that is just what your daddy does. You're the luckiest little brother ever!


Your little hand's wrapped around my finger And it's so quiet in the world tonight....

Thank You, Lord for loving us first so that we could know and share Your love through the blessing of parenting. It is ONLY by Your grace.



*And just so you know I plan on blogging about Levi's BIG BROTHER very soon, too!

Submitted to Embassy!

This morning, we got the news we have waited 3 months to hear!

"Congratulations, your embassy paperwork was submitted today!"

My heart is just overwhelmed with emotion. God has been so sweet towards us in this wait. He's listened to our cries, questions, and pleading with such tenderness and compassion. He encouraged us to be persistent in prayer and to grow in our trust. He's comforted and assured us. He's also prepared us for every step of this journey. I can't express enough that when God calls you to walk a road you've never traveled before, He truly does equip you for the journey- in EVERY way. Don't ever let excuses stop you from seeing the glory of God. When you bring nothing to the table and recognize you have nothing to offer, that is the perfect time for HIM to be glorified. We have certainly seen Him do just that. I am so thankful for His patience with us both before we began this journey and as we've walked it with Him. In my deepest days of discouragement He very clearly sent me to Exodus, and it was perfect timing. As always! Yesterday, He gave me peace.

"Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today...The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." Exodus 14:13-14.

This morning, I awoke to read chapters 15 and 16.
Chapter 15 is a song of praise. It was like the Lord was telling me to get my celebration shoes on. Here's just a few of the words there.... "I will sing to the Lord. He has won a glorious victory. The Lord is my strength and my song. He is my Savior. This is my God, and I will praise Him....Then the prophet Miriam took a tambourine in her hand. All the women, dancing with tambourines, followed her. Miriam sang to them: 'Sing to the Lord. He has won a glorious victory.'"

Chapter 16 was about the Israelites forgetting God's goodness. How much are we the same? God gave them manna and quail for each day with detailed instructions that they could only gather for that day. Only on Saturday could they gather for the following day, so they could enjoy rest on the Sabbath. Still some did not follow and tried to store up the food. I would guess the maggots and smell was probably quite the object lesson. Ew! I was thinking about the "bread from heaven" that has been given to me. There's truly nothing that compares to the Word of God speaking to us, and coming alive in us. God sends us manna each day. Sometimes, we want more than we need. We've got questions, and we want answers. He tells us though that He will give what we need for each day. His Word can be trusted. It instructs, comforts, renews, and sustains us. We can trust. We can rest.

The focus of celebration today is not us, not even our son, but the God Who has shown up and shown off before our eyes! He is bigger than the battle has ever been! (one of my new favorite songs )He's so faithful to give us manna for each day so that we never have to go hungry.

"Jesus said, 'I tell you the truth, Moses didn’t give you bread from heaven. My Father did. And now he offers you the true bread from heaven. The true bread of God is the one who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.'

'Sir,' they said, 'give us that bread every day.'

Jesus replied, 'I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry again. Whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.'"

PRAISE THE LORD!

So many have asked, "What does submitted to Embassy mean?"

Now that our paperwork is submitted, the Embassy has (supposedly) 10 business days to review it. Several cases have taken longer. If there is a birth relative living in the case (which with Levi there is), the Embassy has been requesting interviews. This is frustrating, as this was already done for our court case, and we are already officially his parents, but it is what it is. We truly believe this could be our opportunity to meet with some of Levi's family, too, which would be a great blessing for us to get to thank them and gather any information we could eventually pass on to him. God knows the details. I'm excited to see what He's got in store. We were told today we would probably hear around Feb 22nd-23rd whether our case is "cleared" or they need interviews or more information. There are some cases that have been determined as "not clearly approvable" and those are going to the Embassy in Nairobi. Evidently, they have better resources there, but that would be a MUCH longer wait. If at the end of two weeks, they don't need any more information, they will give us dates we can travel to come to Addis, have our Embassy interview, get his visa, and come HOME. Once again, we wait, but we are seeing not just light at the end of the tunnel, but Light along the way. I'll say it again....

PRAISE THE LORD!

You Fail Us Not

As I said in my previous post, I've been going through the book of Exodus, one chapter at a time. God speaks EVERY single day something personal to me in this journey. I cannot encourage you enough that God's Word is so applicable to our every day life TODAY! Wow!

We've been hit by disappointments and discouragement a lot with every week that we are not submitted to Embassy. We've been promised that our paperwork is going to be submitted the past month, only to have it not, mostly due to human errors. It's very frustrating to feel like our child is just discounted as a number and not a child waiting for his family. It might just be an "overlook" to someone else, but to him, it's another week that his promised family is not there. To a normal child, that would be disappointing. To an orphan who is old enough to comprehend what is going on, it could be devastating.

I've heard all the things that I know to be true. It's all in God's timing. God is in control. Trust God more. It will all work out in the end. Sometimes, I just want to scream. I AM trusting, people! I KNOW this! Do you think we could ever have ventured into this without trusting God? Two years ago I would hardly tolerate a flight from state to state. God has called me completely out of my comfort zone, and the ONLY way I've done it is by trusting Him. Tell me though, is a mother not allowed to long for her children? For the sake of all things maternal, can I please just use those maternal instincts the Lord gave to me? (okay, I feel better already just getting that out. Deep breath.) As a parent, God gives us responsibilities to train our children, to care for them, and to teach them. I don't know too many parents who do absolutely nothing for their child, all in the name of "trusting the Lord will do it in His time." We strap our kids into seatbelts, we feed them, we comfort them, we nurture them, we instruct them, we make decisions on their behalf and for their welfare. We are ACTIVELY parenting our young. Hello! Yes, we trust the Lord. He could do it all by Himself, but He chose to teach us and use us to be parents. In this, He also calls us into a trust that acts. This is where we are seeking prayer and discernment. Our son has been an orphan most of his life. Abandoned. Living in an orphanage. To be told he has parents, meet them, and have them leave is very difficult for a little boy to grasp. To be told they are coming, but every week, not see them is almost more than my heart can take. THEN, to hear that he asks for us, and if we are coming every time he sees one of the workers for our agency. I tear up even as I type that.

Lord, help him!
Lord, help us!

I do believe God can and is comforting Levi, and at the same time, I feel He could also be calling me to go to our son and wait with him. Remember, we aren't talking about an adult. We're talking about a little boy. God prepared me on Wednesday through the chapter I was reading in Exodus to get this news. He also gave me some specific words about "going" that I could not dismiss. It was the first time, I ever felt compelled to go to Ethiopia in this waiting stage, even if it meant me going alone and Sean coming later. Trust me when I say I would not ever naturally feel this.

Not. In. A. Thousand. Years.

So, we've been praying for direction and clarity, asking God to show us, and having our friends and family gather around us to pray, too. We feel like the Lord is saying to wait one more week, and make the decision from there. Lord knows I do NOT want to get on a plane to Ethiopia alone unless it was the Lord's will! (shivers) I don't want to have to leave my sweet hubby and girls behind. (sadness). Add to that the cost of me staying in country for a lengthy amount of time. (hives!) All of these things must be considered. Again, of course the Lord will take care of all the details, but He calls us to think, pray, and consider things. You balance your checkbook, right? You budget your money (you should!), and you make plans for the days, weeks, and months ahead. See what I mean? So, we feel like we need ONE MORE WEEK of praying and seeking and God has given us rest in that.

Okay, now to the BEST part of this rambling post. This morning, as God would have it, I was in chapter 11 of Exodus. What do I read from the start? "The Lord said to Moses, 'I will bring ONE MORE plague on Pharaoh and on Egypt. After that, he will let you go from here, and when he does, he will drive you out COMPLETELY." Yep, that was chapter 11. By the way, it's been 11 weeks since we passed court in Ethiopia. God is alive and well, my friends. Yes, and Amen. We trust Him to lead us, whether that will mean waiting or going. Either way, we are trusting and recognize that God continues to grow our trust as we see Him more and more. He fails us not!

"I promise you what I promised Moses: ‘Wherever you set foot, you will be on land I have given you...No one will be able to stand against you as long as you live. For I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not fail you or abandon you. " Joshua 1:3, 5