2012 has begun, and January is almost over. Life is already busy, overwhelming, and complicated. Isn't that encouraging? :) Seriously, it's just a reminder that things constantly change or don't happen according to OUR plan, so how much more do we need a constant, sovereign God? I was reminded of this lately, and God met me with a sweet revelation just this morning. Let me explain....
Most everyone knows we are in the process of adopting a little boy from Ethiopia. We've passed court in Ethiopia, so Levi is officially OUR child. We are his forever parents. So, what's the hold up? The U.S. Embassy. We are awaiting all our paperwork to be submitted so they can review it and decide if he can enter the U.S. as an American citizen. The problem is that we have been waiting since we passed court as his parents Nov. 21st. That would be 9 weeks, 12 hrs and 6 minutes. But, who's counting, right? Aaah, this wait has been so much harder than I had ever anticipated! Every week we wait to hear if this is the day we will be submitted. Every week the answer has been "no". There are logistics involved that I won't explain here just because I'd rather focus on what God is showing me in the midst of this wait.
I meet with two close friends once a week for prayer and Bible study. Yesterday, I just put it all out there. I'm feeling like this pause with Embassy has me paralyzed in SO many ways. I can't accomplish anything. I keep telling myself I'm going to jump in and ______ and it never happens. We've also had some major enemy fire in so many areas, both personally in our home and with our family, as well as within our church body. My dad was hit with random blindness in one eye and having surgery tomorrow that will involve a very difficult recovery time. There are families all around us that are being hit by destruction in so many ways. For just one example, our church family has been hit by sickness and death in VERY young people just in the past couple of months. It has been a devastating blow for our people! So, yesterday, I was just sharing about how I feel like the wait has me paralyzed in EVERY aspect and I KNOW that's not what the Lord wants. We prayed for one another and asked God to give us desires of His heart. After hearing a WONDERFUL sermon ;) on "Persistence in Prayer" we asked for the ability to be persistent in our prayers with faith, not as an action, but as an intimacy with the Father. We also prayed that He would speak truths to each of us and we would hear and act on them.
This morning, oh how HE SPOKE! I can only explain it as the Holy Spirit's doing. It sure wasn't mine. He told me to go to Exodus and to start writing. Huh? Write what? He said, "Go and I will show you!" Um, my name is not Abraham, but okay, I'll do it. So, I opened up and started reading in chapter 1. Revelation! I wrote in a notebook "40 Days towards Deliverance". There's 40 chapters in Exodus, and I felt like He wants to show me more of Himself in this journey rather than me focus on what *I* want in the end. Exodus is all about our Redeemer found in Christ. So, today I read chapter 1 and took notes. If you get time, check it out and see how He speaks to you. I recognized some characteristics in this chapter that hit home. Fears, bitterness, oppression,.... Ouch! Yep, that's me all right.
BUT look at the midwives! They feared God MORE than man. I don't always do that. God's blessing to their obedience was by giving them families of their own...relationships....and even more- intimacy with God. He redeems every negative circumstance in our life. Perhaps, not always how we want, but how He sees is best. In the midst of our trials, God continues to create and shape us. He doesn't just give us an answer. He gives us His very self! The Israelites were not free from their oppression right away, but they were on a journey to know the Redeemer! We are, too! He also gives us the body of Christ-one another-to encourage, strengthen, and lift each other up. He wants TODAY to meet us, change us, and more than an outward conformity, He wants to go deeper into our hearts. About this time as I'm writing all this down, a song comes on the radio. "From the Inside Out". I sobbed. The words to this song touch my heart so much. Go check it out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZ-fghqc8Oo
What about you? Are you in the midst of a trial or trials? Are you paralyzed with fear, uncertainties, or circumstances? Are you oppressed? Bitter? Will you fear man(or circumstances) or fear God? God is interested in much more than outward conformity. This wasn't about just doing. This was about God speaking to my heart and my heart responding to His love. God wants followers of heart. A heart filled with His love responds in love-to Him and to others. This is where the foundations begin to shake!
We still wait to hear tomorrow. Whether the answer is "yes" or "no", my journey will continue in Exodus. After all, it's not about me and my timing. It's not about Levi. The God Who speaks to me in America is able to speak to Levi in Ethiopia. It's about the God Who created us and has appointed all things in His time and for His glory. "Your will above all else, my purpose remains. The art of losing myself in bringing You praise!" (probably my favorite lyric in that song!)
I realized nothing about my circumstance may change, but when God meets with me through His Spirit and His Word, *I* am changed! This is the joy of persistence in prayer! I'm excited to see what all He is going to show me in this journey. I pray you are encouraged as He has encouraged my heart today. My desire for 2012 is this: "He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less." John 3:30 (NLT)
His grace is truly sufficient. Manna for each day, my friends. Manna for each day.....
